For Whom the Bell Tolls

On Friday I visited Green-Wood Cemetery-the second oldest "garden" cemetery in the United States and a beautiful 478 acre retreat.  As I approached the magnificent Gothic Revival entrance gate the bell in the tower was tolling.  At first I thought it was because it was noon, but when the bell tolls went way beyond 12 I realized it was to honor that next soul who would be interred on it grounds as another family brought their loved one through the gates.  I've saved that lovely toll on my Facebook page if you care to listen.  This bucolic retreat is set on one of the highest hills in Brooklyn and Battle Hill, at 216 feet is Brooklyn's highest elevation.  Battle Hill is the site of an important Revolutionary War battle in August of 1776, where troops fought unsuccessfully to hold off the overwhelmingly large contingent of British troops and Hessians.  The heights and views from the lovely hill were a major factor in the decision to build a cemetery here in 1838.

As I wandered the grounds, I couldn't help be reflect on the nearly 600,000 souls that were buried here.  There are many famous New Yorkers, and many more who were loved by the small circle of family and friends in whose life they made a difference.  There are beautiful and magnificent vaults and crypts and yet the names of these departed meant very little to me.  As I looked for the tombs of the "famous"  like Leonard Bernstein, or Louis Comfort Tiffany I was surprised at their very basic, simple tombstones.  It was almost a contradiction-if one made a major contribution to art or music there was no reason to erect anything more than a slab of marble with your name on it.  Your work will keep your memory alive.  And if one earned a pile of money but made no lasting contribution, better put up a Greek Temple or Pyramid to remind everyone of how important you think you are. A few weeks ago Greg and I were listening to Beverly Sills sing Norma and I said, I can't imagine that that voice no longer exists and that wonderful singer is just bones and dust.  So as I reflected on how I want to be remembered when my family is deciding on a memorial, I hope it will be a simple marker.  I hope instead there will be charitable actions that remain in their memories (unfortunately there will be no great artistic works or scholarly insights).  But, if I were to have a marble memory left behind, it would be sweet to be remembered the way "Jane" was remembered by her husband on the last day of her life...saying goodbye to him as he left for work.